Living With an Alcoholic: How to Deal With an Alcoholic Spouse

Other people have several of these symptoms but do not have a problem with alcohol. In addition to treatment programs for people with AUD, there are also support options available to those living with someone with alcoholism. Ultimately, someone with alcohol use disorder must accept help if they want to recover.

Understanding Alcohol Use Disorders

One (or both) partner’s substance use can become the source of arguments. Recovery from substance use disorder can cause many changes in your marriage — not all of them positive. ”, listed below are also some pointers on how to live with an alcoholic husband. Alcohol abuse is much more common in men than in women, and it affects them in different ways. Being able to drink a lot is seen as a sign of masculinity in much of the world.

Impact on children

• It’s beneficial for you to learn about substance use disorder, including how it affects both your partner as well as yourself.
• Even though they may want to stop, many functioning alcoholics often won’t know where or how to begin the process.
• If they’re not receptive, keep trying — and set boundaries to protect your own well-being.
• Establishing a safe space can build trust, so showing them you won’t use harsh language or say unkind things can encourage them to open up more candidly about their drinking.

It’s good to talk about how your spouse’s alcoholism is affecting you, and your marriage, but make sure you choose your words carefully. Your instinct is to respond to your spouse with anger when you know he or she has been drinking. Although many people recover from SUD every day, recovery is often a long and complex process. Your partner may relapse one or more times before finally achieving long-term sobriety.

The don’ts of talking to your alcoholic partner about their drinking

If you’re living with someone who has AUD, it’s important to understand what’s behind the addiction to alcohol and to learn how to cope. Here’s what you need to know to overcome the challenges of alcohol addiction. Treatment may also involve joining self-help groups like Alcoholics Anonymous (AA). The idea behind this group is that alcoholism is a long-term progressive illness only remediable by abstinence. AA treatment plan is based on the popular 12-step program that involves admitting your wrongs and making amends with people you hurt with your behavior. Only one of the 12 steps specifically references the word `alcohol’.

If your partner is recovering from addiction, the process can come with challenges, and it may take time to cope with those challenges, but you’re not alone. There are over 40 million people in the U.S. alone living with substance use disorder. When it comes to how to live with an alcoholic husband, try not to make any major decisions without getting input from your spouse or partner first. If your husband is an alcoholic, the more you know about the disease, the better prepared you will be to deal with it. It also gives you a sense of control and confidence when you are working with your husband or partner on recovery.

• Even if you choose to leave your marriage, recovery is a process that takes time.
• Alcoholism treatment is usually a long process, and relapses are not uncommon.
• This dysfunctional dynamic happens when one partner begins to sacrifice their needs to better prioritize what they think their partner needs.
• If the person is incapable of even being honest with themselves, it may not be reasonable to expect them to be honest with you.
• Intimate partner violence includes both physical and emotional abuse.
• That said, they certainly can choose to get help — and you can support them with starting that recovery process and sticking with it.

In the worst case, you would also want to avoid the situation as much as you can. Alcoholism is quite difficult to catch during the initial few meetings, but by the time you get to know about it, it is too late. No matter how much you date a person before marriage, some things are revealed afterward. When you call our team, you will speak to a Recovery Advocate who will answer any questions and perform a pre-assessment to determine your eligibility for treatment.

What Can You Do To Help an Alcoholic Spouse?

However, some 12-step groups are spiritually based while others are not, so they may not appeal to or work for everyone. A specific type of codependency can occur in children of those with AUD. Called “role reversal,” this is when a child feels responsible for their parent.

Learn More On This Topic

Our curiosity about alcohol often begins long before our first drink. According to social learning theory, we learn through observing and imitating others around us. Our first impressions about alcohol are often based on what we see of our parents, family, friends, or people on TV. In addition Dealing and Living with an Alcoholic Spouse to supporting your own mental health, this serves as a role model to your loved one. Even if you are aware that your drinking has become a problem, it’s common to worry about what others might think. In a 2015 study, almost 29% of participants didn’t seek treatment due to stigma or shame.

What if my spouse becomes violent when they drink?

Trying to get them to stop drinking on their own may not only be a waste of time, but it could also be dangerous. Withdrawal symptoms from abrupt alcohol cessation may be dangerous and potentially fatal, so don’t try to force them to stop drinking without medical intervention. You need to talk to your spouse about the issue once you’re sure you’re dealing with alcoholism. It could be a personal conversation with your spouse or in the presence of others who they respect or care about.

• This will help you keep them out of trouble and save you from embarrassing situations.
• This is because of the way long-term substance use has affected both partners as well as the relationship itself.
• However, you can convince them to set certain limits to how much they should be drinking.
• Remember, supporting your spouse through their recovery requires taking care of yourself as well.
• It can take time to recover your marriage during the recovery process, but support is available.